I spent months stressing over my appearance for Matt's wedding. Something about having to see people I used to go to high school with fills me with dread. Which I fully realize is a silly thing. Truthfully, I still feel like Matt's loser older sister, who dated a grade ten'er in grade twelve, and in order to combat that, I wanted to look amazing at Matt's wedding. I realize admitting that makes me sound super vain. And maybe thats what I am. But getting immortalized in big moment photos always puts me in a state where I just want to look spectacular.
I spent a lot of time getting ready. I tried really hard. It took me months to find my outfit. It took me hours to do my hair. And it took me quite a bit of time to do my makeup. And I know I looked dramatic and more done up than my everyday. But I wanted the people who never see me to be astonished. I wanted to look more put together than I often feel. I wanted my best foot forward to be a kick in the pants so that if I started to feel small at least I would know that people werent whispering how I have gone downhill since high school. I wanted to be flawless on the outside, even if I'm not really flawless.
My mom and dad were good sports helping me get ready.
My mom stayed up late to help me get my hair in the rollers.
And when I woke up in the morning and my hair still wasnt dry, my dad went out and bought me a hair blow dryer.
There were doubts about how it would all turn out.
Especially considering I'd never done this with my hair.
My mom thought I should of tried it out before the wedding, in case it didnt turn out.
But when I put in this much effort to get ready, I really only have enough energy to do it once.
So I try things out and it becomes a do or die moment. Make it work or look wretched. I'm kinda risky like that.
I've never had anyone take pictures of me while I posed.
It was quite awkward.
But my mom is a good sport.
Turns out that I'm super bad at posing.