Sunday, January 31, 2010


Psych gave me a brilliant idea.
Pineapple smoothie.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Cousin Time

Last night I've never regretted not bringing my camera more. I shoulda known that my cousins Jesse and Maikal are a good time. A picture worthy time. I mean I used to do Summer Fun with Maikal. And every moment was picture worthy. I should of known hanging out with him minus the roadtrips and minus Matt wouldnt change that. 

So Jesse comes over last night to wait at our house before the dance. Lethbridge YSA dances scare me. Mostly I just remember the first dance Lindsay ever took me to. There was like fifteen people at most and they were weird and I just remember thinking that dances were not for me. And going to dance without a group of friends. Well that is just asking to stand awkwardly by the side by yourself. Taking one friend isnt good enough. Cause if they get asked to dance you are left standing awkwardly by yourself. I mean sure, there's always the "walk around with a purpose" ploy... but I often feel dumb power walking no where. 

Besides the point. Jesse and I are close to be being friends, despite that we're already cousins. We have common friends but we arent quite to the point where I could call us friends. So he asked if I was going to the dance and I hedged. Cause without a solid invite, going to a Lethbridge dance, where I dont know anyone and have no Cathy or Bonnie, does not sound like a good time. It sounds so not like a good time that I was planning on going to a movie by myself. Because that is guaranteed to be quite enjoyable... whereas dances are totally hit or miss. 

But after asking a couple times if I was going, Jesse asked if I wanted to come with him. I forewarned him that I would be hovering after him the entire night, to which by his laugh I took that as an agreeance that was an acceptable deal, and we headed out. When we arrived we walked into the gym and immediately both wished we could walk right out. The music was blaring and some YSA were DJing. But in the gym there was maybe fifteen people in an awkward circle just dancing their little hearts out. With one ultra-confident person dancing alone in the center. Jesse and I both knew we should have waited longer to come. But we'd figured that the first half hour would be enough leeway time for a crowd to show up. Oh how wrong we were!

We quickly went out to the hall and used the phone to call Maikal. Strength in numbers. Between the time it took to walk the other side of the church to phone and back, and waited the minute or so for Maikal to show up, when we walked back into the gym it was a different story. You could no longer see through the crowd. And standing, arms folded to the side, was now an acceptable option. 

Dont get me wrong. I actually really like dancing. Dance parties are a good time... but having a group of friends to dance with, is pretty mandatory in my books. I knew that if I committed to being there and got Maikal and Jesse to do the same, they could be my group and we'd have fun. But building the energy to do that... to get into the dancing mood... that took a little time. So for the first while we sat to the side and watched everyone. I love watching other people dance. People are just so funny when they're dancing. 

So the dancing occurred. But slow songs are my nemesis. Mostly cause Jesse and Maikal are good boys who ask girls to dance. But as such that left me alone every time a slow song came on. And I no longer know anyone in Lethbridge (dang friends getting married). So a slow song would come on. Suddenly I'd be standing completely alone. Jesse and Maikal are quick and would instantly vanish into thin air beside me. So I would make my way to the outer edges of the dancing, sidestepping many a couple. Once reaching the outer edge though, I would realize each time that I had no where to go. I'd look to and fro but to no avail. But standing alone, surveying couples dancing... well that makes my insides go awkward. So I would see a group of people talking and would sidle up. "Hi, I dont know you but I'm gonna stand by you. Ok? Ok." It actually turned out ok the two times it became necessary to do so. Had a lovely little chit chat with Matt McDonald, who I went to highschool with. He's a funny kid. 

But the dance ends. And I'm ready to head back home. But I drove Jesse and he is still being social and chatting. So I hover near him and Maikal. Jesse then informs me that I need to pick out a cute boy (any cute boy I see) and go over and talk to him. I inform him there are no cute boys. Hahaha. But him and Maikal leave me to go talk to Landon Hatch. I wander behind them. Landon went to the same mission that Josh is at. And as such, right before Josh left, I heard quite a bit about him. He's a nice kid. 

But it gets decided we're going to some James kids house. Maikal, Jesse and I drive over there together. We get there and it was awkward. We could of really used Maikal's Bag of Fun idea... Jesse bailed to get food, so it wasnt even like we could just leave without him. Maikal sent me a text pleading to drive him to his car - Dear Maikal... I definitely did not have my phone on me. And received that text when I arrived home. Sorry. But Landon busted out some sparklers... I like sparklers. We played with those outside. And he informed us, he was trying to get us away from the awkwardness of the inside of the house. Like I said... Good kid. 

So he comes up with an idea... Tie a tube to the back of his truck and go truck sledding. Maikal, Angela Bridge, Meaghan Maxwell, Alex, and I are definitely down for that. So we tie the tube, fill it up with air, and stop. We need someone to step up and go. As anyone who knows me knows, I sometimes avoid doing things, just because I havent done them before. I hate feeling stupid and awkward, and doing something I dont know how to do... thats just asking to feel both of those. But there must of been something in the air, or maybe it was me trying to impress four people I didnt know very well, but I offered to go first. 

So we stopped the truck. Pulled the tube, tied with string out of the truck bed and set it on the packed snow on the road. I sat down on the tube. Angela came out to sit in the truck bed for moral support... and to make sure I didnt die. And Landon got back into the drivers seat to start driving. He started off and let me tell you... It was really fun. I thought I'd be a little more nervous, but I forget that on occasion I can be fearless. He pulled me through alleys and onto streets. And I slid to and fro. It was seriously great. The only dodgey moment was when he crossed a street that didnt have any snow on it. Ya... that felt like the tube would pop. But it didnt and so we continued on our merry way. 

Maikal joined me on the tube. And it was great. Then we let Meaghan and Alex take a turn. Landon totally swung them into a wire. But when we stopped to assess the situation we saw a discarded couch in the alley. The cogs were a working as someone suggested we hook the couch up. So what did we do? Yup, we placed the couch, on top of the tube. It was ridiculous. And Landon kept saying "Seriously, does no one have a camera?" Maikal, Jesse and Alex rode the couch at first. And then we Lowry's decided to take it for a run. 

Honestly, I felt so fearless last night. Someone who would be up for anything. I liked that I was the girl who went on the totally sketchy couch ride. Liked that I laughed so much. Maikal came to the conclusion that his Bag of Fun will include Landon Hatch. I support that decision.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

I'm Dying To Tell...

I’m dying to tell you I miss you.
But the words stall on the edge of my mouth.
Because I know you don’t want to hear them.
And as they die, I wrap them carefully.
A daily burial for things left unsaid.

I’m dying to tell you I miss you.
But you have become the epitome of a broken heart.
And now you have several names and faces.
I think of you and remember all the others.
Remember how no one could stay.

I’m dying to tell you I miss you.
Because I wanted you to be different.
The one who could beat the odds.
But I know now that you cannot.
Because I have stayed the same.

I’m dying to tell you I miss you.
But my better judgement tells me not to.
So instead I bite my tongue until I taste the regret.
Hoping that maybe you’ll prove me wrong.
Remembering me fondly, instead of forgetting me completely.

Monday, January 25, 2010

I Do What I Want.

This was probably a bad idea.
But I dont care.
I did it cause I wanted to.
Plain and simple.
I wanted it done.
I didnt want to wait.
So I did it myself.
I didnt pro-con it.
I didnt even care if it turned out badly.
I wanted to do it.

I came home from work.
Took the scissors out of the cupboard and hacked off my pony tail.
For better or for worse.
I love short hair.
And I was holding onto my long hair for reasons similar to why I wanted to be a dental hygienist at one point in time.
It was stupid.
And I'm tired of acting like I'm stupid.
Cause I'm not.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Be Small.

In this moment I need to be small.
To fit into a tiny square of space.
Need to hold my breath so I dont ache.
But I cannot hold my breath.
Who I am rushes in and leaves me staggering.
It is too much.
I want too much.
I need too much.
I am too much.
So I will continue to make myself smaller.
Folding myself inward.
Because being big is being seen.
But if you are seen, you can be unseen.
And there is comfort in being invisible.

Ryder is Five

This child is now five.
Its insanity. He's such a big kid now. I still remember the day he was born. I arrived at Grey Nuns hospital in the morning with Steph. It was crazy snowy that day. Steph and I were the first ones to see him. And I was so excited. My nephew. David Ryder. I love Ryd so much. And am so glad I got to be around this year to celebrate with him.

We arrived to see a few gym games going on (freeze tag, what time is it Mr. Wolf?) and of course the Astro jump.

Basically it was just a big family/extended family party. There was pizza and cake and lots of crazy children to play with.
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na... Batman!

So Ryd practised blowing out his candles.
But in the end Katie swooped in moments before the end of the Happy Birthday song and blew them out for him.

Good cake Ryd?

Cake... YUM!

Katie was quite helpful unwrapping presents.
She may have completely unwrapped a couple.

Its not a birthday till someone cries... preferably the birthday boy.
Ridiculous crying? Check.
Good thing Uncle Ben could talk him off the ledge.

But how about everyone helping him with his transformer helmet. Awesome right? It was kinda complicated.

Is it mean to say the birthday boy
had some serious mood swings?

He's pretty cute though.
I'll give him that.

This girl too.
She'd drag me in the astro jump... have me run in circles either chasing or being chased. She's kinda hilarious like that.

And this work of art.
Cone head. By Ben Lowry. Featuring Iohane Lowry.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Good Mornings.

This morning I woke up to a small rap at my door. Followed by the entrance of this...
I am a bleary-eyed child.
But my eyes are open enough to know that this is really sweet.
And that this is a good kid.
The End.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Today I Died

Lately I've been really tired. Like poke your eyes out tired. And I know its completely my own fault. I hate missing anything in Alberta and as such have been spreading myself rather thin. I am not a person who usually is in a constant state of go. But the last couple days have been particularly rough.

On Monday - Technology hated me. Seriously. Everything I touched turned to crap. I got home from work and wanted to upload photos - the internet wouldnt let me. I wanted to do Pilates - the blu ray player wouldnt respond. I wanted to respond to texts I was getting - my phone decided it didnt like that and wouldnt allow me to type anything. I wanted to listen to music on my iPod - it went crazy and was frozen. I wanted to see Dallin - I got a "flat to the rim" flat tire. It was really frustrating.

So on Tuesday I called in sick from work. I felt exhausted and wanted to sleep my issues away. But sadly that didnt happen. Iohane needed to be driven to school. And then my Dad called and needed me to take care of the tires on the car. So I went to Costco to see if they could fix the flat. They told me to come back in an hour. So I went into Costco, tried out a couple couches, picked one and settled in to read. I was tired though and wanted to sleep. But I have my limits and sprawling out on a Costco couch reading was pretty close to one. Sleeping might have been over the top, even for me. So after an hour I head back. And they couldnt fix the flat and were wondering if they should put the donut back on. Well, I had brought four all weather tires. And was slightly annoyed cause I had told the lady if they couldnt fix the flat to put them on. She apparently didnt listen when I said that though. So she said it would be another half hour. I went back to my couch and sprawled even more. I have no shame.

But once the car was back in tip top shape I went to go find help for my cell phone. The people at the cell phone store gave me a number. Which could only be used from a different phone than the one I needed help for. So I went home and called. The guy on the other end tried to make small talk. I suck at small talk. He had me do an interesting little reset move. But my phone rejected his reset. It reset halfway. We waited for like fifteen minutes, in near silence, with him asking me every minute or two, "does the screen still say Palm?" and me replying "Yup." But eventually we tried his reset move again and my phone quit playing hard to get.

But my Grandpa Lowry is sick. I should have been the dutiful granddaughter who went to visit him. But my brothers left without me. Instead I went with Dallin to Fort Mac to watch his sister play ball. I'm glad I did though. Sometime during the first half of the game, my mood shifted. And their team won!

All I wanted from Tuesday was to sleep. Instead I did the necessary things. But this morning I woke up feeling worse than the morning before. Its not like a cold or the flu, but just exhausted. I called in sick again and went right back asleep. The sleep of the dead is a beautiful thing. And something I've been missing. I might get out of bed. I'm still undecided. But I woke up to it being dark... that hasnt happened in awhile.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Potato Stamps, Ichiban and The Children That Love Them

Katie Babe got Grandma to help her do potato stamps. She was so cute doing it.
And when she'd get paint on her hands she'd stretch them towards my momma and go..
"Pwaint. Ei Pwaint"

So the children wanted ichiban.
Hungry little devils.
But they were ridiculous.
I didnt want them to get dirty so I tied table clothes around their necks.
They barely ate any of it. But they were funny while they ate.
Little slave drivers is what they are.

Ryder and Katie got a hold of my school camera.
This is what I got.
They're cute like that.
Love these kids.

Dec. 29 - Scottie Too Hottie

Scottie Too Hottie.
It was his birthday and Bonnie being the wonderful sister that she is, decided to make sure his birthday was well celebrated.
She and Scott sent out mass texts.
And prepared their house.
Scott refused to let me come help them clean :(  I can be useful Scott, I promise.
But eventually I was allowed over and helped prepare the food.
Yup... you can always count on the Leishmans to incorporate food. Its awesome.
Caesar chicken wraps and fruit platters.
We played games.
Drawing games. This lovely picture of Scott came out.
And we played werewolf. Trent and I destroyed. Despite the fact that I kept getting accused. We won as lovers. It was great.
And we played "He said She said"... funny game.

And there was ice cream cake.
Its not a birthday without DQ ice cream cakes.
And Scottie showed off his mad cake cutting skills.

I love my friends. I really do.

And we did a little New Years party planning. Complete with rating the attractiveness of our guests. Hahahha... Our list was selective. We vetoed a few people (cough Ben cough). It was great. And New Years promised to be amazing. More on that to come...

But more about Scott. Seriously. Scott is amazing. He's hilarious. A real dry wit. And he's become one of my favorite people. I hope some girl comes along and woo's him. Cause there is no one who deserves that kind of happiness more. So Happy Birthday Scott.

Saturday, January 16, 2010


Dallin planned a great date.
Its finished now so I can honestly say that. And yes... it was epically long. Aka started at 3:30 pm.
The date had many parts. I'll try to do them justice.


How brilliant. 
I do have this love of skating. It brings me back to Year One, when I used to go skating with Matt and Royall all the time. I always liked skating. And third wheeling.
Though I must admit... my skates today were much too small. To the point where, when I took them off, I felt quite crippled. But it was worth it. 

So we were supposed to do something (Part III) else at this junction of time. But well... it got postponed an hour and a half. So we tried to think of something to do. We had run to each of our respective houses to change (and while at mine Dal played the piano as per usual). But then Dal had a brilliant idea. I was close to finishing a book so he suggested we go to my house and read. Yup. On a date. We went and read books. He read a school book. I read a teeny bopper book. We're quite the pair. 

We met up with Kortney Sauer and Dusty Orr to go Rock Climbing at the U of L. 
Dal and I had changed into sweats cause we figured Kort and Dusty would be H-core and wear sweats. We called that wrong. But really... climbing in jeans... how uncomfortable. 

And yes. I smile like a child sometimes. It is great.

So Kortney was on the wall. Her arms were tired. And she wanted to come down. But Dusty thought she should keep trying. So they rock paper scissored in Chinese to see whose opinion they would go with. Kortney won. And it was really cute.

Dal and I changed again and went to go eat. Our option: East Side Marios. Good times. Especially since I was starvation. 

We decided after the food the date was officially over. But seeing as I'm kinda a picture whore, I couldnt let the date be over without a final photo. Yup... I made him take pictures. They are awesome.
No captions necessary.
Also, as we travelled back to the West side, my lack of temperature control became rampant.
Chivalrous boy that he is, Dallin took off his sweater to let me wear it.

So the date was over. But the night was young. So we went back to Dal's house. He had dropped a N64 Mario Kart challenge. And I never back down from a challenge. Sadly he did beat me. Yoshi was giving me no love today. But as we were playing we talked about old video games we each used to play. And I admitted my love of Mario. Seriously hours were spent playing the N64 Mario game. But we both came to the agreement that the best Mario game is the Super Nintendo version of Super Mario World. And please... dont even pretend to disagree. You know its true. In the middle of the conversation Dal paused momentarily to run into another room. When he returned he carried the infamous Super Nintendo... Super Mario World cartridge ready to go. My excitement could not be contained. Cause lets be real, I've been wanting to play that game for a long while. I had a small melt down when I discovered that while my family owns the Super Nintendo and the game, my brothers sold all our controllers off. So was I interested in playing? H yes. 

Dodgy wires couldnt keep us away from playing this game.
As it turns out... I dont have a lot of Mario skills left.
Ya... I'm uber rusty. 
Dal on the other hand... its like he never stopped playing.
Which legitimately might be true.
Just kidding.
Probably not?
We did work our way through a fair amount of the game tho.
And I'm pretty sure while he does school this week,  I may take another crack at it.
Yup. I'm a nerd. I kinda like it.