Mostly cause I'm such an awkward body and while I know my small group of friends,
my ability for small talk outside of my friends is pretty much non-existent.
Somewhere along the lines I've lost a few important social skills.
Besides the point. I kinda doubted it would be fun.
But we got our "Team" t-shirts and walked and hung out.
And by the end, I realized why people like getting involved with things of this nature.
You interact with people you might not on a regular basis. And are less of a ghost.
And there's something nice about supporting something.
Derrick, Lucinda, Amit
So I totally thought I was taking a nice awkward
picture in front of Derrick and Lucinda without them
knowing it. Hence my super awkward face.
Much better right?
Smiles For Miles Baby.
I love our relay for life t-shirts.
And this is a bunch of us 2nd years with Dean Hutter.
How adorable is Dean Hutter? Him and his wife are just mini people.
And seriously so nice.
(Sarah Courtney, Tim Smith, Arnold Nguyen, Me, Dean Hutter, Lucinda, Derrick, Amit)
We played with a volleyball (with Dr. Calabrese's twin sons who are hilarious)
and watched people bean bag toss and convinced people to do some fencing.
Neal Bajawa vs. Matt Kramer
Neal vs. Tim Smith
Derrick vs. Amit
There was the silence lap where everyone had glow sticks. Which was pretty cool.
Also I learned that not only am I a little clumsy, but I also suck at following directions.
We werent supposed to crack our glow sticks till they told us... Ya... I dropped my first glow stick the second they handed it to us, which set it off. Then I wasnt listening closely and accidently cracked my second one when I wasnt supposed to. Whoops. My bad.
Somedays I feel so confident. That despite my setbacks and shortcomings, that I can return with renewed vigor and make it. That the people who didnt believe I could make it here were wrong. That the people that thought I was just talking the talk and not ever going to follow through with my plans were so very wrong. I end the day feeling hopeful - knowing that my efforts will carry me through.
Today was not such a day.
There is just so much to do. And everyday I hope that the next day will make me feel better prepared, more capable. But today it feels like each day adds to the list of things that make me feel incompetent. Today, my bravado isnt enough. Not by a long shot. In the back of my head I hear the people telling my friends that they think I'm pathetic for telling people I'm going to go to dental school. I see the looks of astonishment from people who hear I got in. And I hear the surprise when I confirm that I am indeed going to be a dentist and not a dental assistant. I'm tired of feeling like the admissions committee were somehow tricked into taking me. That despite my best efforts I cant do it. But I dont even have time to wallow properly in self pity. Because whether I prepare or not, my exams will continue to come. And there is still so much to do.
This weekend I feel like I'm really appreciating friendships. Sometimes being out on the East Coast feels like being on the moon. I just feel so disconnected from people, when all I want is for the people I care most about to still be close with me. But distance is hard. And I feel like too often, distance becomes the excuse for giving up on people and letting them drift to the wayside. When it takes a little bit of effort people usually just let it go - "Well we arent tight because you live far away and we dont see each other." But the thing I've come to learn is that you stay close to who you want to be close with. Being physically far apart doesnt determine how close you are with someone - and it comes down to deciding that you want to make an effort for someone. But this weekend was wonderful. I was reminded again about the sacrifices my friends make to be my friend. They take time out of their lives, and give it to me. There is nothing that I appreciate more - someone thinking that spending their time with me is time well spent. They have lives and other people who they're friends with and other things they could be doing, and I know its a sacrifice to share their precious time with me, especially since the phrase "out of sight, out of mind", can sometimes be too true. Too often I feel like people write me off because I'm too much of a hassle. I'm difficult, I live far away, I'm nothing they couldnt find a replacement for. Their effort is a sacrifice I dont take lightly. I see it for the gift of love that it really is.
Bonnie and Cathy combined this weekend talked to me for five hours. And I love them dearly for letting me feel a part of their lives still. People I can talk about anything with and depend on completely. It just left me feeling completely joyful. I love them both so much. Because I've had a lot of different friends, who were more than willing to let our friendship slip to the wayside. It just wasnt important to them. The point is, if you dont make an effort to stay close to people, you wont be. Its a simple as that.
Dear Mosquito thats stalking me, Thanks so much for sneaking into my bedroom and stalking me. You are very quick and very affectionate. Thanks so much for landing on me just when I forget about you and slowly driving me insane. Super kind. Thats what I like about you. That and the huge welts on my arms and neck. Awesome. Really.
Dear Running -
Someday I'll get over my mental block
against you and take you up again....
Obviously not tonight tho.
And tomorrow's not looking so hot either.
Dear Grumpy Pants
You're a bit much.
Everyone says so.
Dear Self -
Here is a list of some of the half thoughts you have floating around:
Your jumble of incoherent half thoughts are annoying. For heaven's sake, form a whole thought already. Or quit trying.
You need to listen here. You've been staying up too late. Eating too much candy. And being a bit of a slacker all around. Surviving isnt enough dear. And you know it. So straighten up. Go to class, go to sleep and start really learning and trying. Remember the goal to be more balanced? Well, thats still the goal. And you've been plateauing in that regard lately. And by plateauing I clearly mean falling into previous bad habits. You need to be strong and more disciplined. Self-control is where its at. But dont think its all bad. You do alright kid. Just know you could do better. Try for patience and diligence. Patience is a virtue... one that you suck at.
So last year I signed up for Relay for Life... mainly for the free t-shirts. I love me some free t-shirts. I brought my Dad. And we didnt stay terribly long but it was good. And I've been debating about signing up again... cause it was good but secretly a hassle to sign up and be there. I mean yay for fighting cancer... but my motivation comes down to the t-shirt again and spending time with the dental crew (I know, I'm awful)... but I cant pass up free t-shirts. So if ya want donate - and I'll adore you as I show off my new t-shirt.
And here's a "personal" letter relay for life whips out... last year this personal touching letter got me a donation. Touched someone's heart - maybe it'll work again.
American Cancer Society
Relay For Life
This year, I am taking part in the American Cancer Society Relay For Life, the largest cancer-fighting movement in the world, and I"m hoping you will support me.
Last year, thanks to Relay donations, the American Cancer Society, New England Division, provided:
More than 1,030 women facing a breast cancer diagnosis the chance to talk with knowledgeable Reach to Recovery® volunteers, all breast cancer survivors
More than 1,900 patients with approximately 19,000 rides to treatment
More than 1,400 services to nearly 600 patients and caregivers through American Cancer Society Patient Navigators, now working with cancer patients at 9 New England hospitals.
More than 2,800 women with tips on how to deal with appearance-related side effects of treatment, through its Look Good...Feel Better® program.
Nearly 250 children and teens with cancer a week-long summer camp experience
Cancer information to New Englanders who made 45,000 calls to our toll-free hotline - 1.800.227.2345 - manned by cancer information specialists around the clock, 365 days a year.
And, that's only a partial list. I didn't even mention the American Cancer Society-funded research that led to mammography, the Pap test, discovery of the breast cancer genes, the cure for childhood leukemia, and so much more.
Relay is a little hard to describe. It's an overnight event, with participants walking a track throughout the night. If you have a minute, please watch this short video. It captures the emotion that is so hard to put into words.
I hope you'll choose to support me by making a donation to the American Cancer Society.You can do it on my personal Web page, or you can print an offline donation form if you'd prefer to write a check.
If you are interested in learning more about Relay, and finding an event near you, visitwww.cancer.org/relay.