Dental school is the most challenging thing I've done in my life thus far. And sometimes I get supremely frustrated when people who have not experienced something of this nature try to relate. Because unless you've done it yourself, you really have no idea. And its not that I mean to belittle the struggles other people go through but freak - dental school is hard and its not like undergrad was some cake walk. Yes the classes are hard, but its more than that. Its the constant barrage of new things and the sheer amount of things to learn - spending only enough time on one thing to say we've "learned it" before moving onto another thing. There's so much to take in and there just isnt alot of time. And the feeling of mastery is something I only vaguely recall. It can be so frustrating because daily I feel like I know nothing and am unprepared for the moment of being the "expert". Expectations are high - from others and myself. Because what I learn isnt just something that can be learned for the tests - I need the information for practical applications.
Luckily, along with my ever increasing anxiety issues, are daily moments where I look around me, at the group of people I've found in Boston and am filled with such gratitude. We spend hours upon hours gathered together going through the seemingly impossible amount of information thats needed to be learned. And instead of being miserable, I find myself happy lately. They make surviving dental school doable. Group studying was never my thing during Undergrad (mostly cause I never talked to anyone in my classes) but it has become my favorite thing here. Because instead of feeling completely isolated, frustrated and alone, I learn the material and actually have fun. We create funny inside jokes, and keep each other motivated. And more often than not I end up laughing till my face hurts. Its just nice to know that I am not alone - there are people who understand. It seems such a small thing to have someone to talk to about all the pulls of my attention, but its become something so paramount. Having people who hear not just what I'm saying but understand the stress and pressure that comes with it.
Basically I adore my friends.
Roka's Birth Story
4 days ago