Tuesday, April 13, 2010


Somedays I feel so confident. That despite my setbacks and shortcomings, that I can return with renewed vigor and make it. That the people who didnt believe I could make it here were wrong. That the people that thought I was just talking the talk and not ever going to follow through with my plans were so very wrong. I end the day feeling hopeful - knowing that my efforts will carry me through.

Today was not such a day.

There is just so much to do. And everyday I hope that the next day will make me feel better prepared, more capable. But today it feels like each day adds to the list of things that make me feel incompetent. Today, my bravado isnt enough. Not by a long shot. In the back of my head I hear the people telling my friends that they think I'm pathetic for telling people I'm going to go to dental school. I see the looks of astonishment from people who hear I got in. And I hear the surprise when I confirm that I am indeed going to be a dentist and not a dental assistant. I'm tired of feeling like the admissions committee were somehow tricked into taking me. That despite my best efforts I cant do it. But I dont even have time to wallow properly in self pity. Because whether I prepare or not, my exams will continue to come. And there is still so much to do.


Amit and Heather said...

Wallow for a little bit, then remember that we all know you can do it! (I don't know who these other people are, but if I see them react that way, I might have to beat them up!)

Seriously - next time you feel like school is stressing you out, come home with Amit. I'll make you dinner, you can vent and relax before studying again.

Julie said...

well, whoever is astonished you got in is CRAZYYY. first off, they clearly don't know how smart you are. and second off, they clearly don't know how hard of a worker you are. i remember you working your butt off with all your flash cards day and night. you rock!

Sheila said...

I love you. And you rock.

Deidre said...

Melissa you are brilliant--don't ever feel like you aren't good enough or smart enough (or whatever) to become an amazing dentist. I'm really impressed with the path you've chosen. Cut yourself a break. Dental school is tough but you are doing an amazing job at it. Nuff said.

K's said...

Nothing is too big or too hard cuz you're the finisher with attitude! Give it - no regrets!! Sending big hugs!

Cathy said...

So you're a dental assistant?
No. I'm a dental hygienist.
What's the difference?
Forget about it.

At least people realize the difference between dental assistant and dentist. So that when you're done, you'll be distinguised and your education appreciated. I'll forever be assumed to be a stereotypically mormon, little, dumb blonde (ugh), dental assistant. No offense DAs...

Work it. Love it. It'll be worth it.