Letters

Dear Legs -

Thanks for deciding that today you would weigh a billion

pounds and hate running. That was really considerate of

you. When you make me feel like I've never run before in

my life... I really like that. Wait... no, I think I got

that wrong. Actually I hate it. Tomorrow I would appreciate

a little more cooperation. If not, I will continue to run

you into submission. And yes - that was a threat.

Dear Shower - ooooooooooo

You are great.oooooooooooooo

I could live in you if I didnt think...

1) doing dentistry in you would be

cramped oooooooooooooooooo

2) being naked in front of patients

would be awkward and oooooo

3) eating could get tricky - and oo

soggy.oooooooooooooooooooo

Keep up the good work though. You

make me smell better - and I think o

the world appreciates that.ooooooo

Dear Self -

Why do you love long showers? I know they are amazing and all... but tonite you missed a very important phone call. Yup... one of those once in a blue moon type. Remember Josh? Your wonderful baby brother who is leaving to go to some remote island in the middle of the pacific for the next two years, where you wont hear his kind and wise voice... ringing any bells? Ya... well your love of showering cost you a chance to talk to him. You could of used that chat. It would of been amazing. Instead you got very clean. Josh is more important than cleanliness and now you will have to wait for another three months to talk to him again. That blows. Maybe you could learn to be a little more attached to your phone and therefore this problem wouldnt occur. Either way, tonite you are an idiot. And I hope you're kicking yourself for deciding to shower slowly.