Thanks for deciding that today you would weigh a billion
pounds and hate running. That was really considerate of
you. When you make me feel like I've never run before in
my life... I really like that. Wait... no, I think I got
that wrong. Actually I hate it. Tomorrow I would appreciate
a little more cooperation. If not, I will continue to run
you into submission. And yes - that was a threat.
Dear Shower - ooooooooooo
You are great.oooooooooooooo
I could live in you if I didnt think...
1) doing dentistry in you would be
2) being naked in front of patients
would be awkward and oooooo
3) eating could get tricky - and oo
Keep up the good work though. You
make me smell better - and I think o
the world appreciates that.ooooooo
Dear Self -
Why do you love long showers? I know they are amazing and all... but tonite you missed a very important phone call. Yup... one of those once in a blue moon type. Remember Josh? Your wonderful baby brother who is leaving to go to some remote island in the middle of the pacific for the next two years, where you wont hear his kind and wise voice... ringing any bells? Ya... well your love of showering cost you a chance to talk to him. You could of used that chat. It would of been amazing. Instead you got very clean. Josh is more important than cleanliness and now you will have to wait for another three months to talk to him again. That blows. Maybe you could learn to be a little more attached to your phone and therefore this problem wouldnt occur. Either way, tonite you are an idiot. And I hope you're kicking yourself for deciding to shower slowly.