An Education

Bonnie and I went to go see this movie.

Its a coming of age movie and I rather liked it.

First off, I love the look of the fifties slash early sixties.

I love their hair, makeup, the whole shebang. 

But more so it made me think.

She gave up everything she'd worked her whole life for. Gave it up for a dream she didnt even know she wanted until it presented itself. But this dream was more of an illusion. And vanished just as suddenly as it had appeared. 

Basically, if it seems too good to be true, it is. 

For me, hope is a fickle friend. You want it around, but sometimes it leads to some major disappointment. And so keeping it in balance is a challenge. I feel like I am so grounded in reality that hoping for something that more than often doesnt work out is such a slap in the face. It feels like betrayal every time. But without hope, life isnt quite right either. Awhile ago I had a good chat with my brother David Alan. About how everything needs to be balanced. Ya cant do too much of any one thing, because then you neglect the rest and thats not good. Too much of a good thing is not good. And I think that that applies to everything in life. Thats what I'm working on right now. Being more balanced. I'm not sure its going but sometimes ya just gotta give it a go and keep moving. 

So this is me keeping moving.

I try to sleep at regular hours.

I try to exercise.

I try to read a little.

Sometimes I feel like all I do is try.

I'll let ya know if that ever changes.