Monday, April 6, 2009

..:42 Days:..

The thing with being away from home, is that its made me realize how completely in love with Alberta I am.  I dont have a little flirtation going on with the beautiful plains and mountains. Its the intoxicating, to the point of obsession, kind of love.  And the closer I get to coming home the more I feel like I can't quite breath here in Massachusetts.  I have my plane ticket.  I know the moment I will step on Albertan ground.  And I relish the thought.  Its not that I'm unhappy here.  Cause really I've been feeling a certain contentment here this semester.  Its just that with Alberta, its no passing fancy.  The thought of being there, brings me this ridiculous sense of joy and longing.  And being separated breaks my heart a little.

But I've been figuring out the different aspects of my life lately.  I saw lots of different places for housing.  But after a few talks with my dad, I knew what I needed to do.  

I'd gone to see a place that is a couple houses down the street from me.  A girl in my ward (who until last week I had never met), lives there and contacted me saying she saw I was looking for a place.  Well I went to have a look at the place.  Its a great location.  The apartment is nice and doesnt feel cramped.  Except for the room I would be in.  Its a bit like a closet.  And I was worried about Sheila (the mormon girl) and her roommate Lauren.  Cause its not like I know them, and this year with Leyla, I've been spoiled.  I know that.  Leyla really has been amazing.  She's probably the sweetest girl I've ever met.  And the perfect roommate.  We never fight, and she's so considerate of me.  And the thought of not having that kind of peace next year, well it fills me with an intense dread, paralyzing me from being able to make any rational decisions. But thats ridiculous because no matter what, I'm going to have to live with someone.  But jumping in on someone else's apartment, not picking the people I'll be sharing my space with, it makes me feel out of control.  

But I talked to my dad.  And he proceeded to tell me a story that goes something like this.

"You may or may not remember this, but the house I grew up in, had two rooms.  And one of those rooms was the adults room.  So nine of us siblings shared one room.  We slept wherever we could find a spot.  On a couch, if we were lucky or on the floor.  The attic room wasn't a room until in highschool I decided to fix it up, so I could have a space.  So this room you're worrying about, it's really not that bad."

Hearing that, and knowing how privileged I am, I immediately felt such shame for complaining at all.  I have so many opportunities and blessings.  Cause really, my situation isn't that bad.  I'll have my own room.  A bed.  A space of my own.  And the rest of the apartment is perfect.  And picking this place would mean that I wouldnt have to find roommates on my own.  They'd already be there.  And the rent would be almost 300 dollars cheaper than where I live right now.  So I buried my selfishness and told Lauren and Sheila I would take the spot in their apartment.  

Housing.  Check.

And really, it is a relief to have it figured out.  Not having to make appointments with realtors and spend all my time looking at listings.  And not worrying about being able to find people. Because finding an apartment is time consuming.

Now all I need to do is make sure I pass all my exams.  And I'm home free.  

So this summer, I'm doing APEX, aka Applied Professional Experience.  Its a school course, that luckily gave me the option of doing it in Alberta.  And boy oh boy did I jump on that.  Even though I'll still have assignments (the adorable journal entry type), I feel like its going to be relaxing.  I talked to a friend who is in dental school in Saskatchewan.  And he told me he gets three months off for summer.  I get 2 weeks.  But I feel like being in Alberta, living with my best friend Cathy again, being able to see my family whenever I want... Thats enough like a vacation for me.  And the APEX really wont be bad.  Basically what it is, is that I am assigned to a dentist that has agreed to mentor me.  I work in his office (for free of course), and he shows me different aspects of the office.  I get to assist, work at the front, learn how to manage the business side.  And its not like I've ever really not worked during a summer.  So i think it'll be like every other summer I've ever had.  Except my job applies to my life, unlike working at a chinese food place.  And I'll try to soak up as much Alberta as possible before I go back to school.  


Michael Jay said...

Thats how i feel about Hawaii. Its great and i love it here, but being here as made me appreciate Alberta that much more. Although i could live without dealing with snow for the rest of my life... But i guess you win some and lose some.

Linz said...

I understand too ... and I'm a heck of a lot closer than the two of you! Don't you just love Dad's story ... I heard it twice yesterday!!! When we were talking about my housing situation! Oh ya ... you'd better come visit me in Cold Lake cuz that's where I'll b this summer!