The Missionary - Part One

My brother Ben is brilliant.

I called home today as I headed to the grocery store. Tomorrow is the big missionary dinner. And since Wednesday my mood towards the event has shifted. 

Several things contributed to this:

1. I didnt have a good idea of what to make. 

2. I realized the potential awkwardness that this dinner could be. 

Everyone that is coming 

(the missionaries, Kelli from upstairs and Ethan my home teacher) 

are strangers. They dont know each other. 

And none of them know me.

3. There'd be no wingman. Dear Sheila had other venues. Drat. 

So when I called home today, I expected to talk with my mom and hopefully she would help me come up with a plan. But it wasnt my mom who answered. And truthfully I dont ever talk to Ben when I'm gone. Ben never answers the phone, and I would never call specifically for him so this was a rare moment. The conversation started off slow. I asked about school, he asked about school. I asked about dating, he asked about dating (FYI apparently neither of us are doing that). But Ben wanting to talk on the phone is a rare occasion and who was I to fight that. So I told Ben about the missionary dinner and my dilemma. I had an idea of what to make, but I wasnt pleased with it. And I was feeling alot of pressure. Missionary dinners are usually so laid back and chill. But I was starting to feel like people expected a lot from me, and I dont like pressure. But as I roamed the Stop and Shop, Ben and I bantered back and forth about food. His immediate suggestion was a roast. Which might be above my pay grade. Roast just screams domestic. And I tried very hard for years to be anything but domestic. But then he suggested something amazing... Something you'll have to wait to find out what it is. Ben had never done it before, but the idea popped into his head. And so as I walked around the grocery store, he told me what to get. He let me ask him about meat, this vegetable and that vegetable, whether I should get paper plates and what I should do for dessert. An hour and twenty minutes is how long he talked to me. The majority of time he told me what he would do to prepare the meal, and let me ask question after question. And by the time I hung up, I felt alot better. And actually very excited. Ben is a genius. But only wants credit if the meal is a success tomorrow. Cross your fingers all!

Dedi-can

I woke up today right when my class started.
I was so close to vetoing it.
But I decided to be a dedicated little student.
Turns out I should have been a slacker.
I was here for maybe ten minutes and the lecture ended.
Seriously? A half hour lecture?
I shoulda stayed home.
Or brought the current book I'm reading.
I'd go home and get it, but I think if I leave I wont be able to will myself to come back.
Drat.

Cool E.

I feel a little proud right now. Kinda on top of the world a bit. Why you ask? Well multiple reasons but one is because I did something out of character and brave. Something thats hard for me. And as of this moment, it appears to be working out.


So my first week back in Massachusetts I went to church. And was more than prepared to sit by myself. Thats just how things go. So I choose a nice empty row of seats and make myself comfortable. But right as I sit down, one of our ward missionaries turns to me and introduces himself. Elder Erickson. Right away I can tell, this is a freaking cool missionary. He was funny, and immediately mocked me sitting by myself. That kinda of personality generally wins me over immediately. But he was really kind too. Told me to come sit by him and his companion so I didnt have to sit alone. Now I used to have the missionaries over for dinners all the time my first few years of University. My roommates and I would invite Petey who lived downstairs and have a great time with the missionaries. It was one of my favorite things. And Elder Erickson and his much quieter companion seemed really cool, so I signed up to feed them. Cause I love half serious half mocking people - and who doesnt love dinner. 


Well Elder Erickson called me on Sunday night to confirm our dinner appointment this Saturday. When I'd talked to him at church after signing up, he'd asked me to try to find a non-member (preferably a guy) to come (kinda as a chaperone since its way not kosher to have dinner without a masculine presence - mission rules and what not). But well, things of that nature make my insides twist up - I immediately thought of Amit and Heather, since they're awesome and I think wouldnt freak out, but I found out during the week that Amit would be gone and Heather was busy. I just get nervous and shy when it comes to inviting people I dont know well places and I dont like the thought of imposing anything on anyone.  Free will and what not. Asking another member to come - ya no big deal. But the missionaries asked me again to try to find a non-member to come to dinner on Sunday. And after my Sunday rescue, I wanted to repay Kellie back, and a dinner would be perfect. So I told the missionaries I would see if she was interested.


Well it just so happened that I ran into Kellie coming into the building on Monday. That never happens. So I mentioned that I was making dinner for my roommate and missionaries for my church and asked her if she wanted to come. She said that'd be nice. I called the missionaries today to set up a definite time so I could tell Kellie, and they said they'd play it cool, but I'm kinda excited. I've never had the nerve to actually invite someone before. Plus I think she'll like the missionaries, they're super cool. And I think it'll be low key and fun. I feel like I've turned over a new leaf. And I'm excited by the prospect of it.

Drip Drop Drat

I stepped into the day.
And immediately wished I hadnt.
If only everything I owned was waterproof.
I quickly made the discovery that today I would be wet. And there was no fighting that.
Within seconds, my blue and black skirt turned to a shimmering layer of black and darker black.
Each step of my foot was quickly overtaken by an inch deep stream of water passing me by.
Within minutes I was completely drenched.
And there seemed to be no hope of a drier future.
Church was spent air drying - but on rainy days like today, everything is damp.
By the time I left church my skirt had regained its former color.
But not for long.
As I walked to the bus (and wished for a stranger to drive me home) I discovered something unsettling.
I had not remembered to bring my phone and worse, I had not brought house keys.
I quickly tried to come up with a plan of what I would do when I reached my empty apartment.
With Sheila in Ireland and Lauren in Philadelphia (Pittsburgh? Something with a P), and no phone, my options were limited.
I refused to be upset. That wouldnt help me.
So I prayed. I prayed for Lauren to be my saving grace. That she would have returned from her trip. That she would be home upon my arrival.
I dislike being soaked through. And even more I dislike sitting on a bus while I'm soaked. Everything feels dirtier when you're wet.
But I hurried from my bus stop to my front door, the rain continuing to pour down in sheets.
I buzzed my apartment.
Nothing.
I tried to look up to our windows but refused to soak my face enough to get a good look.
I tried all three apartment buzzers.
Nothing.
Now I was ready to begin panicking.
No phone, no roommates, no where to go.
The only thing I knew for certain was that sitting in the rain was turning into my best option.
I was on the verge of a melt down, when one of the girls from apartment three opened the door.
I think her name is Kellie. And she had saved me before.
She opened the door, and I'm positive I looked pitiful.
Rain pouring off my clothes, which were soaked a nice dark color, I looked up and said "so I'm locked out again."
She just smiled and told me she'd tried to stop by our apartment to drop off a treat.
Apparently they've been re-arranging furniture lately and making a lot of noise.
I hadnt noticed.
Of course there still was the issue of getting into my apartment.
But Kellie seemed more than willing to let me continue to file up after her to her apartment.
As we passed my door I said a silent prayer that the door was opened and turned the knob.
Victory. The door swung open.
I thanked Kellie for saving me yet again and the banana bread.

I know it probably doesnt seem like much, but for me, Kellie rescuing me was a big thing.
Part of what makes Massachusetts difficult for me, is the feeling that if I'm ever in trouble, where I literally cannot help myself, there is no one to rescue me. In Alberta I'd call one of my brothers or a cousin. Because family will always come through. But here I have no brothers or cousins. And sometimes it feels like no where to turn. I'm trying to learn to trust that God will rescue me when needed. Or I guess notice more the role he plays in my rescues. Clearly its a learning process. So I guess I'm grateful for two things right now: 1. Being dry and warm and 2. Immediate unignorable answers to prayer.

Jan.2 - Tea Time

Last year at Christmas Time, Lynnae Seely Wright hosted the most adorable tea party.

She'd gotten married and wanted to use her new tea set.

It was really fun. So we decided to have a repeat this year.

We went to the Jasmine Room on 6th Ave.

And we drank tea and gossiped about life.

It was brilliant.

And I hope that it continues to be a yearly tradition.

Feb. 26 - The Afterparty

This party began with a competition.

Three Uncles. Three Roasts.

Multiple Winners.

Uncle John's was super juicy.

Uncle Rod's was really flavorful.

My dads was really tender.

My uncles are brilliant. As is my father.

There was plenty of cousin bonding.

And I love cousin bonding.

(Mysha and James)           .          .

(Katie and Meribah)                                                                                                  (Ali, Brit, Peyton, Kyle, Mysha, Me, Tia)

(Meribah and Jesse)                                                                      (Ali, Kyle, Peyton, Brit)

(Marshall, Ben, Maikal, Brandon, Nathaniel, Ylanna, Melina)

(Ylanna, Melina, Sterling, Christien, Ali, Brit, Kyle, Mysha)

I just love this picture. I love people's faces. And how everyone is so close.

(Tia, Makea, Christien + Sterling, Ali, Kyle, Maikal, Mysha, Nathaniel, Ben)

There are was some baby throwing.

A few tips to successful baby throwing:

1. Jump while throwing. Allows the baby to go higher.

2. Make sure you are in the open or have tall ceilings.

3. Make sure someone (anyone really) is on the other end. The more confusing it is for the people watching as to who is going to catch said baby, the better.

and above all else...

4. Make sure you catch the baby.

Even if catching knocks you off your feet.

Safety first.

Uncle Rods' Family

My family (minus Matt and Josh)

The children of Thomas Gilbert and Veia-Atua Te Matai-Roa Te Atua-Nui Gwendoline Love Lowry

(William, David, Paula, Matthew, Thomas, Moana, John, Tia, Rodvern)

Now I love my family. But I wont pretend that I was close with my grandparents. I wasnt.

I cant even fathom those kids, who rave about their grandparents and spending weekends with them. That isnt how it was for me. The Wilde grandkids weekend... Grandparents who turn into confidants... I cant picture it. Not even a little. The only time I visited was because I wanted to please my father. I'd do anything to make him happy and win his approval. And part of me wishes that there werent so many secrets that I dont know. That I knew my grandparents - the real them, instead of the few memories I have, most of which have me sure they had no clue who I was. But I dont know them.

But I love what my grandparents gave me.

I may not have known them at all, but they gave me my father. And him I know. And I am grateful everyday for that. For my brilliant, fun and lovable father. And they gave me cousins, who are amazing. They are each unique and we all have our strengths (and of course I have favorites). But there is always unconditional love. Cause we're family. And above all else I pick them. Over anyone. They're the friends who last. And I'm not foolish enough to dispute that.

So ya, me and old people arent tight. But they gave me people that I could be close to.

But Maikal and Ben made trifle at Grandpa's.

They make a mean trifle, filled with strawberries, bananas, kiwi, oranges, 

apples, pistachio pudding, whipped cream and jelly rolls.

Delicious.

Brandon Hearty isnt part of our family.

But he made all our thank you cards.

By hand no less.

It was pretty awesome.

Are you wondering my favorites?

These three.

Iohane, Jesse, Maikal.

They made February for me.

And I'm so grateful for their friendships.

They make me feel brave and strong, even when I know I'm not.

Feb. 26 - The Funeral

W.

I have a worry. Both of my current roommates are moving out. And waiting to find roommates is excruciating. Just hoping somebody picks you and knowing you have to take what you can get. The current best offer is a weird girl who has a bird. I am not a pet person. And I have been lucky people. I've lived with some really great people, who I didnt know, but by fate ended up getting along with really well. But I feel that my luck is running out. I've had a new set of roommates every year. I swear I'm not horrible to live with. Just circumstances never allow me to live with anyone longer than a year. One of these years I'm going to end up with some psycho, who makes me want to stab my eyes out. I want to live with members, but I cant find anyone who's even remotely interested. I'm worried. I'm worried we wont find anyone and I'll have to move. I'm worried we will find someone and I'll hate her. I'm worried about someone moving in who likes to drink and party. I wish that living by myself wasnt 1. really expensive and 2. a sure fire way to make sure I am completely socially isolated. I hate living arrangements. I really do.

Hunger

I was skeptical about these books. They were talked up too much, and I knew I wanted to read them, but it felt like a burden. I had so many other books that I wanted to make it through, and the Hunger Games series was near the top, but kept getting overrun by other more intriguing finds. Its almost like even though I knew they'd meet my expectations, I didnt want to read them in the off chance they didnt. 

But one airplane ride changed that.

Hunger Games.

What can I say about this?

This first book was perfection. Immediately I was immersed in the world of Panem.

Katniss Everdeen. Peeta Mellark.

They're sent as tributes from their district. To fight to the death against two tributes from the other eleven districts. Where only one is allowed to be victor. Fight to the death to pay for a rebellion against the government that happened years ago. 

Picture being thrown into such an event. Forced to celebrate the death of children. Watch the violence and cheer. Or worse, try to survive it. It was interesting because Katniss very much is a survivor. But she has learned that the only person she can depend on is herself. Her independence is both a strength and a weakness. Because we cant always do it all on our own. But I like the learning curve of trying to control everything and realizing that in reality you control nothing. And Peeta, would do anything to just save her. The boy with bread only wants the girl on fire to live. They are pieces in a bigger game. And we get to watch it all play out with baited breath.  

I wont spoil what happens - because the enjoyment is in the details.

But just know that I started reading Book Two yesterday at lunch. When I got home from school I read straight until I'd finished it. I'm only sad I now have to wait for Book Three. 

Did I love these books? Yes.

Though sometimes Katniss makes me so frustrated I could punch a baby.

Good thing I dont have any on hand.