There are a million and one things I could be worrying about. But the fact of the matter is that if I chose to worry about them, thats all I would ever do. Sometimes its very hard to not feel completely and utterly consumed by all the unknowns. But there are a few certain knowns that if I focus on, seem to make up the difference.
- That separately or together, my parents will call to check in on me twice a week. There is comfort in knowing that no matter who forgets me, they will not. Even when my time is short, its nice to hear someone who disagrees with my personal disappointment in myself. They have a steadying influence and occasionally help me to broaden my perspective. And always (even when we have our moments) they love me for whoever I may be. That kind of acceptance, I've discovered, is rare. They see me for who I could be without making me ashamed of who I am. And that is a rare balance.
- That my best friend Cathy, will still be my best friend when she is Mrs. Bevans. Yes, dear Cathy, is finally engaged to Trent. I've only been team Trent for a solid three years and I am so perfectly pleased that these two are tying the knot on November 20, 2010. I'm excited I get to come home for it, and I'm excited for how happy this impending marriage makes Cathy. And that she no longer needs to plan in secret. I love Cathy dearly. And even though I secretly keep a little box of worries that she'll forget me as she moves into this new stage of life, overarchingly I know that Cathy will always be my friend, whatever the distance.
- That group studying with the dental group will inevitably result in me laughing till my face is sore. The jokes are always nerdy and never funny when I try to explain them to someone outside of the group, but it makes me so happy to have such great friends at school.
- That hardwork and perseverance will inevitably pull me through any obstacle. It may sound cheesy but I really do believe that if you're willing to work for something hard enough, you will eventually get what you want. Ya, a lot of times I want to quit - because FYI hardwork also sucks - but the thing is, it has gotten me through a lot. Sometimes "making it" is lowering your expectations and putting your shoulder to the wheel.
- That my brother Matt is gonna be such a stud post-mish. October 13, 2010. Thats right people. The day is coming. I'm terribly sad that I wont see him for at least a month, but I'm so excited for him to come home all the same. Even when it gives me a complex, I know that Matt is a wonderful guy and people love and adore him.
- That my brother Josh is such a wise little man. Seriously people - a twenty year old should not be this naturally wise. But Josh is such a big hearted guy and his advice is always on point.
- That no matter the struggle, I will make it through dental school. I cant always see how I'll accomplish this, but it helps to know that people have done it before and it can be done again.