Burnt Teeth

I'd like to introduce you to someone who I will spend every Thursday afternoon with.

Isnt he cute?

And interesting fact... did you know that you could burn ivorine... Found that out via my high speed drill.  If I push down at all it burns the teeth.  And my bur.  Whoops.


Sadly, my preps are not cute.  My teacher told me he would write on my evaluation sheet they were clinically acceptable.  It didnt sound like a compliment coming out of his mouth.  Its weird knowing what it should look like.  And knowing you're doing it wrong, but not knowing how to make it better than it is.  Cause P.S. These preps suck.  

I guess I would say I was clinically challenged today.  First I forgot my good friend at home and had to run back to get him.  And then I kept tearing the dental dam because the first time around I punched the holes too small.  I'm sure with practice I'll get better... But secretly I still hate the people in the class whose looks good or better than mine.  But Brad... one of the married mormons ... totally burned me bad... We were walking out of the SLC together and he asked how my preps were... and I told him they were brutal.  And he goes "I guess some people are just naturally more gifted."  

... OUCH... That was kinda hurtful.  Its alright though.  Cause we finally got our ASDA school hoodies... and even though I'm terminally ill white... I love it.  

So I'll keep my chin up.  And try to show a little more natural talent next week. 

Baby Birds All Grown Up

I'm not sure when the transition occurred, but my baby brothers are now so wise.  Anytime I'm having issues (which is more than I'd like) I phone or email one of the two and they always know exactly

what to say.  

They tell it to me like it is.  But their pep talks are like none other.  

Just the perfect amount of "listening-encouragement-sympathy-kick-in-the-pants" to get me feeling like I can handle anything, as long 

as they believe I can.  

What they say is always so grown up.  Sometimes its hard to believe that they're having to tell me it at all. Doesnt matter that I have a solid two and four years on them.  They've become my two favorite people to

 get advice from.  

They're hella smart.  Both of them.  Makes me proud to be sharing the same gene pool.  These kids have got some major street smarts 

knowing whats up.  

And I think my favorite thing is that they arent too cool for their older sister.  They'll talk me off of any proverbial ledge without a moments hesitation.  And I love them for it.  

I think of you

Once upon a time, I was young.  I believed in magical beings and little people that lived on my skin.  I danced, sang and twirled.  But most of all, I believed in a love that truly could conquer all. Fairy tales were part of my everyday life.  My dreams were more reality. But as I grew, life became something real, something that could be brutal and cold.  And with age, my magical world became less shine and shimmer and more gray and dull.  And the magic, that had once surrounded me, faded.  I would stand in a room filled with people, unable to understand where the once great world had gone.  I would scream and find I made no sound.  And I grew tall, and began to not wonder at all.  I accepted the world for what it was.  My enchanting childhood was replaced by my cynical adulthood.  And it fit neatly into my now gray view of the world around me.

But one day, as I was walking through the faceless crowd, something caught my eye.  It filled my vision with brightness that I had forgot existed.  Its beauty was instantly intoxicating.  I weaved anxiously through the crowd, unable to get a clear view.  It hid and I could feel its enjoyment at my distress and urgency.  But I searched nonetheless. For that one quick view had sparked something deep inside that had been lost for so long.  I tried to step out from the crowd to get a better view.  To find what my heart had long been aching for.  But the crowd swirled around, thicker.  I turned around, trying to catch one more glimpse.  But it had disappeared from view.  But with that glimpse, instantly I was changed.  I couldn't go back to the life I had previously been satisfied by.  I realized in that brief moment that I wanted more.  And a life spent searching was better than one in ignorance.              

Dear Inspiration

I'm having a hard time putting into words the appreciation I feel for Portia Thompson.  I previously posted about a day I spent with Portia.  But I feel like more time spent with Portia deserves another post.  So I'll try to explain the best I can.

Maybe it'd be best to start with something simple.  

1.  Portia lets me intrude on her family whenever I have time to do so.  And she does so without a moments hesitation.  And for that I'm very grateful.  Because time spent with her family is truly some of my favorite moments in Boston.  Maybe I'm weird but I like being with people that have life figured out.  And Portia is so easy to relate to.  Even though we have completely different lives, I feel like Portia knows and understands me.  Its such a little thing, being willing to open your home to someone else.  And I'm sure that she is busy a lot of the time or its not really convenient, but she lets me tag along to her plans.

2.  She is probably the cutest mom I've ever seen.  I love how she interacts with her children.  They're well behaved kids to begin with (from lots of her influence I'm sure)... but she just is so attentive and kind.  Which brings me to my next point...

3.  She gives her full attention to every person she talks to and really cares.  She asks questions about my life, about my family, about things that matter to me.  But she doesnt just ask the questions... she listens for the answer.  And sometimes being in Boston is hard cause it feels like everyone who would "listen" to me is so far away... so its nice to have one person who I can talk to face to face and feel like they remember the tiny story I told last time we talked and the little details about my family that get forgotten/not mentioned, in the classic "small talk"... But the thing that really impresses me, is that she doesnt just act like this to me... she's like this with everyone.  People matter to her.  And sometimes it can feel like its so easy to fall through the cracks of the ward, but Portia seems to be able to "see" each individual.  She goes above and beyond the duties of any "Wife of the 1st counsellor".  I could see how it would be so easy to be distanced from the singles ward.  She's married, has kids... but she doesnt distance herself.  Instead she hosts little dessert parties so that people can gather and spend time socializing.  Seriously it is amazing all that she does.  

4.  There are many people that I would like to be like... But recently it feels like they're all far away.  So its nice to have a up close reminder of what I want to be like... with work of course.  She's like my favorite married people all rolled into one.  Or maybe she's her own entity... whatever it is I adore spending time with her.  Even if we're playing with the kids or building a piece of furniture.   Portia is at the "where I want to be in ten years"... married, kids, serving, happy.  

5.  She's not light on the compliments... I can't help but smile because every time I spend a moments time with Portia, she is just full of compliments.  I worry I get too much credit in her eyes.  But I cant help but want her to like me.  So maybe I'm on my best behaviour.  But generally I think its more that being around someone who is so good and generous, you can't help but have a little rubbed off on you.  

6.  Portia makes me want to hope.  I often tend to be quite realistic.  I'm not caught up in some fairy tale.  I know what my life is... and what it isnt.  I know what I am, and what I'm not.  But talking to Portia, being around her... she's just so dang positive that great things are coming my way.  I cant help but believe her.  She's just so honest and I know she really does think that, and her trust and faith and hope kinda give a little firmer backing to my own.  

7.  I love how integrated the gospel is in her everyday life.  I love hearing gospel comments come up in daily chatter.  I love that her kids are trained to close their eyes and fold their arms when a prayer happens.  It reminds me of saying prayers with Ryder.  Maybe I'm just missing my mormon shelteredness but I miss being able to say things and have people totally understand.  And not having to do the explaining.  I love being able to say I went to the Temple.  Or have someone tell me a story that starts with, I was reading in the scriptures or during our spiritual thought last night... I just miss little things like that.  

Portia seems to have figured out what the important things in life are.  She works hard and is smart and caring.  Sometimes I feel like the older I get, the less I'm able to carry conversations about nothing.  I want and need substance... and with Portia, she's all substance.  Anyways... I just am really grateful for Portia in my life.  She's a bit of home when I'm far away.  She's a reminder of where I'm heading... of my goals, my dreams, my aspirations.

PPB Crackalacs

+

So its late at night.  And I am HUNGRY!  But its one of those completely random hungers... But I think it has just led to an interesting combo... I think I remember Aunt Sher telling me once that Jeff's fav. sandwich was.... Peanut Butter and Pickle sandwiches (ok I'm just using soda crackers)... Which... Sounds crazy.  But tastes pretty dece.  And hopefully I'll feel the same way tomorrow morning.  But apparently pbs kids completely supports it... which means it must be good.  

But my last Physio test EVER... is on Thursday (well except when I have to do boards but I'm not counting that!).  And I am to say the least... very excited to be done with that.  So excited I'm having a hard time motivating myself to study for it.  Probably not a good combo.  Physio is totally one of those kryptonite classes that I just do not like and have a hard time remembering all the little details of "How the body works"... I know people make livings off of being physiologists but I just could not do it.  So I'm thinking that in order to put in the serious study time tomorrow (since I have no classes) I should provide an incentive... Maybe going out to a movie theater.. I havent done that in a long while and kinda miss the big screen experience.  Or there's always the treat at the grocery store trick... though that requires a trip to the grocery store... which I could use since my staple of cereal just isnt the same without milk.  

Its a tough call.

What I wouldnt give for a mexican getaway...

Today I really came to the realization that for the next ten weeks I have one or two tests per week.  

Ya... I just died inside a little bit.  

But I got an email from Matt.  And I had noticed I havent gotten much mail from him in the last month but hadnt thought too much about it, since we both are busy busy.  But when I got his email today, all the sudden I remembered how much I miss that kid.  

Matt and I have almost always been close... and I like to think that I knew how great he is long before the rest of the world came around to my view.  Cause he is.  

He can be crazy funny and neurotic.  

Cool and debonaire.

And just really funny.  I cant stress that point enough.

But my favorite is just that he's such a good kid.  I loved when he lived in Edmonton for a semester and we got to see each almost everyday.   Matt is just a really great brother.

Anytime I needed him he would be there for me.

He would share his friends and even when we fight... I still love him.

I know he's doing awesome on his mission.  Cause his emails are so wise and caring.  But I'll be excited for when he comes home so we can play and be BFF again.