On the train the other day, I eavesdropped as a group of friends turned on one of their own with big accusations. Four friends argued against one. And as the train was delayed and they were speaking rather loudly, I couldn't help but listen to every word. What accusation were they choosing that day to level against their friend? Oh, just that he was a closet hipster.
I wanted to laugh in their faces. But settled for smirking in my chair with eyes that never focused directly on any one group member for too long.
Was he a hipster? Absolutely. He had the scarf and slip on boat shoes to prove it. And their argument about indie music also being hipster music had me biting my cheeks.
I laughed about it later. The one friend was positive he wasn't a hipster. He even went so far as to pull up his chunky sweater and say "Would a hipster wear a soccer jersey?" While all his friends assured him, that indeed they would. And indeed this was further proof that he was. But it got me thinking about those damn pretentious hipsters. And as I thought about it, I realized, there is a very real possibility that I might just be a closet hipster.
Without further ado... You might be a hipster if you...
- Suddenly develop an odd love of small forest creatures and feel the need to start collecting porcelain, quilted or pictorial versions of said creatures.
- On occasion wear oversized glasses, cardigans, jackets, scarves and winter toques. And if all of the aforementioned are worn at one time, you most definitely are a hipster.
- Can only vaguely recall a time when skinny jeans weren't the only type of jeans in your closet.
- Have a strange love of shirts with either wolves, moose, owls or caribou and find it a point of pride if a full moon can be seen in these epic shirts.
- Have a secret pride point when your favourite bands haven't been heard of by anyone else in your circle of friends (thus allowing you to fully educate each of your friends on what they're missing in the world of underground music)
- Don't own shoes with laces and even in winter you don't wear socks with said slip-on shoes.
- Don't have any food allergies, but you have started to enjoy, and make food like you do.
- Own a polaroid instant camera or some other film camera that creates artsy, light leaked, distorted pictures.
- Love herbal teas and telling people how much you love herbal tea.
- Have made Urban outfitters your place. Books, clothes, crap you certainly don't really need - it can all be found there.
- Spend an inordinate amount of time pursuing tumblr, blogs, pinterest, youtube and other various time wasting websites.
- Talk about travelling abroad often and feel that travelling abroad is a quintessential life experience.
- Are never far from a classic literature novel and/or any other book, and you love to discuss or quote said books.
Chances are... I might be a bit of a hipster.
A little bit pretentious of me? You betcha.