The Weekend

1. I turned 25.

I actually hate my birthday.

Its not that I bemoan getting older (cause lets be real, I havent super loved any age enough to want to stop aging). Its mostly that I feel a little forgotten and irrelevant on my birthday. Which is probably due to the fact that sometimes, even my own family forget my birthday. I used to think it was because it was summer and everyone was on vacation. But its probably more that birthdays cause a serious inflation on feeling small and unimportant, just because there is such a pressure and expectation that people will celebrate your existence. It doesnt really happen like that. Ever. I pretty much can remember crying on just about every birthday I've ever had.

Its not a big deal. Its just kind of what it is. Birthdays are just a sad day for me. Extra sensitive or something like that.

But I spent the day doing my first ever age 1 visit on a 13 month old during my Pedo rotation (which was hideous, because I dont love people crying - makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong, and you have to be rather forceful with children and I dont particularly like forcing people to do stuff and I had no clue what I was doing and my instructor gave me the case because "you're a girl and they generally do better at this sort of thing"). Everything about it was horrible. And I didnt get all my summatives done because no patients showed up in the afternoon. But I went running and then met up with the crew for some fro-yo. They sang me an embarrassing little Happy Birthday that started with just Aaron and then slowly brought in the entire group (Sabrina, Derrick, Mel, Lucinda, Dan, Alisun). 

I was a little bummed that no one had really made plans with me, but honestly, when my birthday rolls around I try my hardest to just accommodate what other people want. They want to celebrate - ok cool. They dont - ok cool. 

Since everyone else had post-froyo plans, Alisun suggested a movie with the two of us. Which ended up being a movie at her house. And truthfully, I am not a fun person to be around on my birthday, but Alisun is great and handled it like a champ. She lit a candle for me to blow out and paid for my dinner.

So I may not love my birthday, but I do love my friends. Aaron even said he made me brownies - which I think he's using as leverage to get his dentoform back. 

2. The entire Saturday spent sailing.

I'm extra well done.
John wanted to get our mainsail/helmsman certification. And I truthfully didnt feel quite up to par. But I am not one to go against someone else's plans. So I bucked up and we went out this morning for the class and then after a short lunch went out this afternoon to take the test. The helmsman test is a set of buoys in a line that you have to sail around. Ya know... to prove you can sail and control the boat. I was really nervous. 1. It was super windy out today... like while we were practising this morning I almost capsized John and I's boat. 2. It was my first time ever sailing in a boat by myself. 3. The really nice instructor got switched out for the super intense kid who makes me uncomfortably nervous. 4. I have a sailing quota - the point where I get tired and dont function well - and I was most definitely past that. But John had convinced me to try because the worst that happens is they tell me I have to take it again. It was rough going. In fact the intense kid told me he has serious reservations about my sailing cause I had a really rocky start to the test. But he passed me all the same. And in the end, despite the major anxiety I had been feeling, I was glad I let John talk me into just doing it. That group of mine... really do get me to step out of my comfort zone. I told John that he might need to give my nerves a couple weeks to settle before he pushes me to get my next certification.

3. My computer screen has completely broken.

It is NOT supposed to look like that.

Good thing my parents are coming because I think I need a new computer stat!