A Boy Named Ben

Something that I've been thinking about alot is the notes my brother Ben writes.  It just seems so amazing to me how he is able to be so honest and open in his writings.  Like I know he'll tell you what he thinks in person and to your face... whether you like it or not... but somehow reading it off a page, you see a side to him that you wouldnt expect to be there.  I just am really impressed by him.  He shows no fear.  He truly values the things he says... even if its just arguing for some theoretical point.  He doesnt care who does and doesnt read it.  And while sometimes I might not appreciate it in person... I still love to read the words he manipulates to be his own.  Ben and I can be so different.  But there are moments when we are so similar at the same time.  Anyways... below is a note I stole off his facebook (hopefully he doesnt mind)...

Hinc Illae Lacrimae

Its been long years since I've been held like a child being coddled.

My strength... my pain.

Push intimacy away;

I am what is left.

These walls of defence become a cage,

And I can't bring them down from the inside.

Soon I fail to feel for friends, 

Leaving me to wonder if I have love to give.

If life is to love, 

Then surely I've been dead quite a while.

A corpse manipulated by my own hand;

Moving to the illusion of living.

Continually I die the loneliest death, 

In this solitude I've made with my singularity;

Ever this flesh separates,

Leaving nothing to be held.

~ Ben Lowry

Someday I hope that I will feel so brave.  Because I think writing is one of the best forms of expression.  Anyways... A Boy Named Ben; someone I look up to.