Blast.

My tests are done.
My bags are half packed.
My laundry is sitting next to the door waiting to be done before I leave.

And I kinda feel blah. Sure I'm glad I get to go home. But at the moment traveling feels like such a hassle. Packing is too much. And the thought of coming home to everything changed, it makes me feel a little bit of dread.

Tomorrow comes quickly though. And my anxiousness wont change that.

Dec. 16 - Sister Missionaries

Something that I really like about Sheila is that she's kinda super tight with the Sister Missionaries in our ward. Makes me feel like she's a good person and all. And her good influence cant be bad to keep around. And the sisters are actually kinda hilarious. Quirky. But hilarious. In fact, I may have witnessed Sister Crandall rap the story Book of Mormon stories song while Sister Phillips beat boxed. It was awful. But kinda hilarious. And I'm sure iHop really enjoyed it. But after lunch one day, we invited them to come have dinner and make Christmas cookies before I left.




Sister Phillips couldnt make it but Sister Storer got to enjoy the evening. And showed off her domestic skills a bit (tho she was slightly insane and I recall her bearing her testimony of Nordstrom high heels). Sheila's hometeacher brought us Pizza and we devoured more than a few Pumpkin Chocolate chip cookies (they werent that great tho and as such I refuse to post the recipe).

Good times with the Sister Missionaries. It reminds me of the missionary dinners I would have Year Two University. Where the missionaries kept falling in love with my roommates. Kinda awkward. Funny tho.

Thank you!

Amy Wilde (married to Brock Wilde) is Ryder and Katie's newest Aunt.

And she posted this to my facebook tonight.

Amy Lou Wilde katie was over and we did a little photoshoot for you!

Seriously THANK YOU!
Amy, you are so sweet and this was so darling.

Thanks so much!

Massachusetts Miss

All I ever talk about is Alberta. And my love of the people I left behind there. I know that. But thats not to say that there arent things and people in Massachusetts that I wont miss while I'm home for the next two and a half months. And here is the all-encompassing list.

1. Sheila Kelly

I'm pretty sure God knew I wouldnt survive this year without a really good roommate.

As such, he did some major orchestrating last year and gave me the opportunity to live with Sheila. I had my doubts (I mean I didnt actually know Sheila...) and I was close to vetoing the idea. But I also have wise parents who told me to be brave. And I could not be more happy that I listened to their sage advice. Everyday I am grateful for Sheila. She's someone who I implicitly trust and who I will truly miss while I'm in Alberta. Living with her this last six months has been amazing. I love how smart she is. And how real. And it doesnt hurt that she thinks about things in a similar way to me. She's funny and very Alberta, in a place that is very not Alberta. If I could bring her home with me I would. Cause I know she would be best friends with my friends back home. And she'd love how fun Alberta is. I love that we've been able to get close over our time as roommates. And I kinda hope she doesnt end up falling in love when she goes and visits Utah. Cause I'd be sad if she moved and got married. Sheila is amazing. The end.

2. The Dental Family

Doesnt matter that I'm that random single girl in our group. Doesnt matter that most of the time its just me and the marrieds. They include me anyways. Our family dinners are usually my favorite part of the week. And time spent with them is always well spent. Individually and as a group they are hilarious. And I dont doubt that they give me so much more than I give them. I never was the type to make friends in University - so this having a group of friends in my classes, is a new thing for me. One I kinda like. Its fun being able to gripe to someone when our teachers are insane (*cough Remo cough*). And have people to make sure I'm doing the right thing in our labs and assignments. And they keep inviting me to be part of the group even when I'm anti-social and dont. I try lots of new things with the dental crew (clam night, yoga, making teeth?). They keep life interesting. The dental family makes it so the pathetic state of my singles ward out here doesnt phase me (for the most part). I like them a million times more than the freaking singles ward. They're my Massachusetts people. And that is awesome.

3. The Slightly Milder Mass. Weather
Mm. ya... I do not like to be cold. And so all the bragging Alberta has been doing lately of being the coldest place in the world... not a huge fan of that. I mean it got below zero here and I let out a small whimper. I'm still wearing capri sweat pants. Clearly I am weak and not Alberta weather tough. I mean sure Boston is gonna eventually get cold and snowy. And they do that wet snow that makes me wanna cry... but at least its no -35 Celsius. Oh. Gross. Thankfully its supposed to warm up come Thursday. Now if I can just convince Alberta to stay a little warmer through January and February I will be set. No? Not gonna happen? Blast.

Hmm... turns out thats all I'm gonna miss. ahahahha. Good list.

Sabbatical

Everyday I've come to my blog and meant to blog. Its not that I dont have things to say or talk about. I do. I just... I couldnt bring myself to put my thoughts down. Dont mistake that for me being a dedicated little studier. I just was finding other avenues on which to waste my time. But I figure that my sabbatical has lasted long enough. So here's the update - the good and the bad.

1. I come home in four days. And I have to face the deterioration of my social skills up front (friends, please prepare yourselves).

2. I lost seven pounds since last I weighed. But I'm pretty sure thats seven pounds of muscle that has deteriorated and been replaced by fat. Guess I will need to re-ignite my exercise fervor when I get home.

3. I have one test left that requires studying (two officially). I cannot bring myself to focus and study for it.

4. I've decided that I am not gonna worry about certain unnamed people. Tho I havent actually put this into practice yet.

5. I'm excited to see my home again at Christmas. Despite the fact that I know I will end up decorating when I come home cause it hasnt been done yet.

6. The dental crew has kept me well fed. With dinners and waffles. They are champions and definitely too good to me.

7. I look like a dedicated student. But I'm actually a slacker.

8. A missionary in John's ward asked him to get my address so he can write me. I cant remember if he's cute or not - all I see is a name tag (tho John tells me he's super funny and cool).

9. I talked to my APEX dentist and she sounds super nice. But I have to start work January 4th.

10. I mailed home presents for Christmas. But will have to wrap them when I return home (and I'm not feeling that).

11. David Alan put up videos of Ryder and Katie, that I loved. But I worry they wont adore me when I come home. I've been spoiled playing with Aiden and Abby (John and Tamsen's kids) cause they kinda love me.

I know I've been sounding super whiney lately. My bad. I'm working on it.

Love Missy

I love Matt.

Did Matt mail that dead scorpion to his dear friend Tiffany?

Yes.. yes he did. 

And Matt has

always been 

very festive. 

Festivus for 

the rest-of-us.

This is a great kid. The End.

This picture makes me laugh. Mostly cause I can hear the sound that goes with it. 

Sitting and Waiting

Today I was reading a few people's blogs... like I do. And I came upon this one. 


And she asked what I'm waiting for.


And I guess without even realizing it I have been waiting. I wait to come home. I wait to see my family and friends. But mostly I wait to feel like myself again. I'm not sure when it happened, but I dont feel like myself. Or at least not the self I want to be. And I keep waiting, hoping that the next day will bring a resurgence of who I really am. But maybe I'm just different now. Maybe I'm waiting for a moment that will never come. Because life changes me everyday. And maybe there's no going back. Only forward. I just dont know where to start. Thats the real problem.   

Do you vent much?

Cause I know I do. What did I just find out? My beautiful little brother. Whom I've been so excited to talk to at Christmas, isnt going to be able to phone at Christmas. Cause he's in the middle of freaking no where and doesnt get internet. Or have access to a phone. Seriously? No phone? Bah! Its completely ridiculous. Merry Christmas Baby Brother. All by your lonesome. Poor little turtle. Its so sad. My parents said his mission president might be able to get him near a phone sometime in January. But the whole family isnt around in January! I mean sure, if I'm the only one around to talk to him... bonus for me. Cause I feel like its always a little awkward to talk to missionaries with everyone on the same line. But still. Boo! I dislike this. Immensely. And I know its selfish. And I know I'm a terrible person. Cause he's all serving the Lord and whatnot. But I just want to be able to hear from my baby brother whenever I please. Or at least on a weekly basis. Sadly its looking like that is not gonna be the case with little Joshie. Boo! Am I showing my uber neediness yet?

I just miss my brothers. Terribly. Most days I do alright. But I just miss talking with them. And lately writing to a mysterious unknown and not getting any response... well its just not doing it for me. I want them to console me. To make me laugh. To scold me when I'm clearly thinking like a stupid girl. To listen to me. To play silly games. Cause we do alot of silly games. For instance, Christmas Eve day we usually travel around SoAB making the rounds visiting family. That results in basically a whole day spent in the car. So Matt and I would play endlessly the iPod game. Where one person gets to pick the music and the other has to guess what band is playing (because we're sharing headphones obviously). Matt is brilliant at the game (which is probably why we play it) and I am terrible. Or we take pictures. I make them take fifty billion pictures where we make faces (cause I'm camera happy like that). Or we talk Chinese to each other (not real chinese... come on... it drives our parents nuts which makes it even funnier for us). Or there was the one car ride where we did that sing along from Sister Act II where she sings and the students repeat what she sings. My brothers are the funniest people I know. And then there's the snowboarding trips. There is no one I would rather spend my time with. Whether its me convincing them to watch movies with me, or playing endless hours of card games, until one of us gets frustrated with Josh (cause he is the worst card player ever) or the person who wins at every game and gives up. I just miss them. Terribly. And I know I'm a terrible sister because I didnt miss or really notice when my older brothers Dave and Ben were on their missions, but Josh and Matt are different. And I hate our separation. I mean I know in my head its good. Missions are so amazing. So important. And they are where they're supposed to be for sure. But I'm selfish. And wish they could just be with me. Cause I need them.

The countdown is on tho. Five Tests and Ten Days Till Alberta.

I miss...

I wrote a letter to Josh today.

And that may have been a bad idea, cause I am weak and it just reminded me how much I miss him.

Josh is the wisest little boy I know. And it sounds super selfish but him (and Matt too) being gone has been hard for me. Especially since he is in the middle of the ocean where internet is kinda not available. So I dont really hear from him. I just miss him. I miss the advice. I miss the pep talks. I selfishly miss him. Josh gives the greatest pep talks ever. They are full of mocking love, humor, a little I-got-your-back and you-can-do-its. They're amazing. I could use one of those today. I just feel bummed. Like skip my mandatory lab bummed (Dont worry parentals - I'm going). Blechy.  

Sore.

Ow. Ow. Ow.

It was a blood blister. A humungous blood blister.

Right on my heel.

And it hurts. Cause pretty sure the insides of my foot are exposed.