Hello Beautiful

I love wonderful, thoughtful, happy packages.

Thanks so much Gretchen!

Father Weekend - May 21, 2011

When my cousin Maikal got married, I had decided I couldn't come home for the wedding.

Truthfully, coming home takes a lot out of me. Its so emotionally draining. And sometimes,

(ok, most of the time) I come back and wonder why I went in the first place. 

Because school alone is emotionally exhausting, and to add any more drama to that, 

is almost more than I can take. But I at the same time I hate to miss out.

So to make me feel better about missing Maikal's wedding, my Dad came to see me.

He wanted to go to a baseball game. When I told my friends, they scoffed. Because Chicago was playing Boston for the first time in like 90 years. And they were positive that we wouldn't be able to get tickets.

But we did.

Well, my Dad did anyways.

We went to Fenway and bought some red sox paraphernalia so we could at least pretend to be fans.

It was freaking cold. And our super ultra light rain jackets were not doing it for us. 

But we got commemorative cups and some fenway franks.

And I attempted to steal any warmth my father's arm would offer as we took in the feel of the game.

And then we left before the game was over. HA.

Really, its just kinda cool to be at a game.

Even if you don't stay the entire time.

We were positive that the Red Sox would win. They were definitely up when we left.

But upon arriving back at the hotel, we discovered that in the 8th inning, they'd fallen to pieces and lost miserably. The rainy-mist wasn't worth staying for the game excitement though.

It was fun to say we'd been there though. Witnessing sport history and whatnot.

Letters

Dear Three Hour Appointment 
That Became Six Hours
That was a little uncalled for. 
All I wanted was a nice and easy crown cementation.
Instead you had me slaving away for AGES.
For real, that shouldn't of taken that long.
(Curse you contact points/internal blebs!)

Dear New License Picture

I kinda love you.

You... 

1. Don't look like you're trying too hard

2. Are pretty :)

3. Are not awkward.

You're everything my last license was

missing and more.

I look forward to the next five years together.

Dear Pre-Externship Paperwork

I know I need you.

But I don't really like you right now.

Unfortunately I am getting to the 

point where I can no longer ignore 

you. Drat. Double drat.

Dear Yoga

Is it cool if I try to love you?

Cause this round of it has been

going alright. Which is out of

character for you. I even went

to you last week without the 

moral support posse. Which 

was out of character for me.

Dear Self
Listen up.
1. You're being a little obsessive and its annoying. To yourself.
2. Maybe more sleep would help.
3. Just bite the bullet. And the other one too.
4. Just hold off and forget about it.
5. No big deal, it'll work out.
Yup.
Thats what I thought.

Polenta?

Todays supper was weird.

Polenta, onions, garlic, salsa and cheese all frying panned up.

Not bad, but not my favourite either.

Pluses and Minuses

On the plus side I stayed awake 
through my entire IPPM class

On the minus side I found

out John was an attempted

murderous bunny killer

I drew a bunny on John's paper.

He proceeded to try to kill it.

I won in the end though.

Cant beat the foot of God coming to crush 

the bull dozer.

Collage Magazine Journal

Back in the day I lived with a girl named Betsey.

She had a hideously annoying voice. 

But for Christmas she created this beautiful collage journal for our other roommate.

And I fell in love with the idea. 

I've done a couple as Christmas presents before.

And I always love them.

Even though they take forever to make.

Maybe one day I'll make one and actually keep it for myself.

I made one tonight.

I bought a big magazine (because they have tons of pictures in them).

And I cut out anything that looked cool.

And then I got to arranging the pieces. 

I'm only doing the front cover (since it does take quite a bit of time). 

But I'm quite pleased with the result.

You like?

Sunday

I didn't sleep well last night. And I woke up early because of it. I woke up with a knot of anxiety in the pit of my stomach. Because today I was giving a talk.

Many people assume that because I blog and write things of a fairly personal nature, that that kind of openness trickles over into my interactions in person. That speaking in public might not be a big deal for me. But it isn't so. The thought of public speaking sends immediate tears to my eyes and it is only because I realize the spiritual significance that I agree to such a thing in the first place. I generally have avoided speaking in public for pretty much my entire life. Talks are terrifying for me. I never feel like I have anything of value to offer. Or more so that the amount of knowledge I currently possess is not good enough. And since requests to give talks come so infrequently, its a rare issue.

When I was asked to give this talk, I wanted to say no. I wanted to ignore the invitation but knew that the right thing to do was to say yes.

So I agreed and set to preparing. Truthfully, the guy who extends speaking opportunities for my ward has been offhandedly mentioning me speaking for quite sometime. But I'm old fashioned in that I require a formal invitation. If it contains calligraphy, all the better. So I started preparing a bit in advance. Because I don't do spur of the moment talks. If I am forced to speak, I'm going to have prepared to the best of my ability. This talk was hard for me to write. And I lamented to my mother about it. But it was good for me to write as well. I really had to look and clarify some of my half thoughts. Which is a struggle most of the time. But a deadline will push you beyond your normal limits.

I woke up panicked this morning though. Having mentioned to my friends I was speaking, Lucinda mentioned she might like to come listen. But when I woke up, I realized that after agreeing to speak, I'd never heard confirmation that I was indeed speaking. I texted the guy in charge and as I was on my way to church, talk in bag, I received this text:

"Huh? I didnt have you on my schedule at all. Do you have a talk prepared?"

I immediately felt like an idiot. Why hadn't I double checked earlier? I had just assumed since he had asked and I had responded that I was speaking. And while no one at church would know that I had prepared a talk, my pride felt wounded. I was mad. I was mad that I had stressed and worried and prepared a talk that would never be given. I was mad that this guy hadn't just sent the two second email response to my email agreeing to talk to let me know that he had already found people. And the thought of giving it a different day made me ill. I didn't want to give my talk a different day because I had prepared for this day. And talks for me, are moments in time, and once the moment passes, the talk can't just be re-used at a later date. So no talk today, meant that when this guy eventually got his act together and cornered me to speak, that I would probably end up preparing another talk.

I know its not really a big deal. So what if I didn't get to give the talk I prepared? I know that I didn't really want to give a talk in the first place, but after preparing to give a talk, not giving one is quite the disappointment. And even though I know its not a big deal, I can't help but feel upset. I know its stupid. And that its nothing to be upset about. But I had prepared so much.

I listened intently in Sacrament to the other talks, picturing how my talk would fit with the theirs. And the people who spoke did really well. I even managed to feel a little less upset as the meeting progressed. I guess I really was the person my talk was most intended for.

So without further ado - My talk (that wasn't a talk).

East of Eden

I will admit. Starting this book I was intimidated. Lately I feel like my reading level has been a little... easy. Which has its place for sure. Thinking books, books that lead the reader to contemplate more than the story but the message and meaning behind it, are always a bit of an endeavour for me. I don't know why, but I develop this irrational fear when I undertake to read something that isn't just an easy read. I dip into the occasional thinking book. But 600 hundred pages of it? But I don't take people's recommendations lightly. If someone tells me I will enjoy and find something worth while, I usually make the effort to give it a chance. 

I will say that I enjoyed this book. But Mr. Steinbeck certainly has a meandering way of telling a story. I know that he probably didn't include any portion that wasn't there to illustrate a point he wanted made; But all the same, I found a few of his side stories and his manner of introducing the point somewhat tedious. When he stayed with the main characters, I really enjoyed his writing style and the story. His characters are full and dynamic and very relatable. I couldn't help but relate as I'm sure all people relate. Quite honestly, there were several passages that I loved to read because of the truth contained within. It is a very smart book.

You've Had A Birthday Shout Hurray!

My friendship with Alisun came out of the blue. It honestly was like one day we weren't friends and the next day we were the best of friends. I'm not even sure what exactly did it. It might have been our mutual love of games. It might have been that each of us is a true fourteen year old trapped in a much older body. But from the moment we became friends, Alisun has been a Godsend. Her friendship came at a moment when I really needed it. I have lovely, wonderful friends out at school. And I would never want to minimize the deep love I have for each of them. But with Alisun I can truly say anything. She laughs that I still think like a five year old at times. And she doesn't mind that sometimes I pout like a five year old too. We see each other quite often at school, but one of my favourite things is that at the end of the night we'll talk on the phone just to catch up on the little stories we may have missed from each others lives. I needed someone to share my stupid stories with, and Alisun willingly obliged. 

Alisun really is something special and unique. Not only is she class president (like a true over achiever and the fake lazy person she is), but she never ceases to amaze me at all that she does. She is one of the hardest working people I've ever met and truly someone I admire a great deal. I'm always trying to play catch up with her and rise to her level. Which never happens because she is always taking on more.

I had a great time celebrating her birth!

I even sang two primary birthday songs.

Dear Alisun,

Thanks for being born!

Much love,

Melissa

PART ONE

The day began with delicious sushi from our favourite sushi place. 

A little bit I want to marry those warm towels they bring to wipe your hands with.

They're GLORIOUS.

HA, my bike is "herding" Alisun's bike!

After Sushi, we went and got our nails done to celebrate some more.

I truthfully, am not a great "get my nails done" person. 

I can never understand what the people say. I never know when to raise my foot. And I find watching someone work on me slightly obnoxious since sometimes I can be a bit of a perfectionist. It gets awkward. 

But I do like the massage chairs. Oh, I like those a lot. 

PART TWO

If you ever want to know what the greatest party idea is, just take a page from Alisun's book.

She thought that a "Make your own pizza" party would be fun.

And indeed it was.

Everyone brought one of two ingredients for the pizzas.
And Alisun slaved away the night before her birthday making a mountain of crusts for everyone.

Lucinda and I decided to do dessert pizzas.
And made some really sweet icing.

The greatest part of this party was that

1. Everyone was involved.

2. Everyone got exactly what they wanted. 

If you wanted a Hawaiian pizza, you could make it.

An all-meat pizza? Sure why not.

3. It allowed people to mingle, debate pizza toppings and really just relax.

Truly it was a perfect plan for a bunch of stressed out dental students!

And seriously how awesome do these pizzas look!

The dessert pizzas were a huge success. People added toppings in whatever order they chose and it was DELICIOUS. 

I might have to just go buy some pie fillings, icing sugar and dough and make some more.

The entire night was a choose your own adventure. And it really was great fun.

And best of all we sang Happy Birthday to Alisun as she attempted to blow out the candles to her surprise mermaid birthday cake.

Happy Birthday Alisun!

High in the sky

Seriously, these high waist pants are really comfortable.

Perhaps not the most flattering, but you can't beat the lack of flashing that occurs in these pants.

And that shirt? Its the same shirt as this one, but I love the teal and gray and abstract print.

Did you know that the freckles I get in the summer across the bridge of my nose and cheeks are my favorite? I kind of love them and wish they were more evident all the time.

I think people with freckles are beautiful.